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25-signs-your-husband-is-cheating25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

There is probably a million indications that someone is cheating. Everyone and every situation is different. And honestly, when taken individually, single things may not be that big of a deal. I would say, when your spouse is cheating, your gut is your first clue. Something is off and its not just the big fight you just had about nothing, there is something else.

In my experience, we have always been rather relaxed, I have never really kept tabs on him or really mistrusted him in any way. So imagine my shock when I finally listened to my gut and started looking into things, and found out that I was right, he was messing around with multiple women behind my back.

25 Signs of a Cheating Spouse

#1. My first clue that something might be going on was finding a long black hair on my sofa. We don’t have company, I have shorter light brown hair, my kids have light hair. There was no logical explanation of where it came from.

#2. He stopped wearing his wedding ring for months. Told me it was because we had a fight and he wanted me to ASK him to wear it again. I would also find it in the center console of his car on days we would switch vehicles, like he forgot it was in there.

#3. Started working a LOT more. He is a manger, and is salary, so its not totally weird, but he stopped asking me to meet him for lunch, stopped bringing his lunch, and stopped staying home a couple mornings a week to take our oldest to school (something he used to love to do).

#4. He remembers nothing I tell him. Part of that might be his narcissism and his attempt to gaslight me, but I tell him everything at least three times now, he still claims not to remember. Even in the same conversation, he will ask me something I just told him. His mind is obviously elsewhere.

#5. When hes home, hes not HOME. He is on his phone, watching TV, ignoring the kids (for the most part), he pretty much ignores me.

#6. And then, at the same time, hes being SOOO nice to me. Gets mad and apologizes ( something that never happened before, he would stay mad for days) texts me constantly all day with I love yous and kissey faces. Wants to kiss me all the time, wants to snuggle on the couch, holds my hand when were out. Things he hasn’t done since we were dating.

#7. He bought new cologne, and has been working out every day. He hasn’t worn cologne in years. As soon as I saw it, I had this horrible sinking feeling. Its not ME hes trying to look nice for.

#8. We had a newborn (like 2 weeks old) and instead of coming home at lunch, he would go follow-me-on-facebookout with the girls from work, every day. Got to the point I called one of them his girlfriend to her face.

#9. When our mutual friends started acting strangely toward me, either really super nice (almost like pity) or ignoring me. I found texts he sent them telling them what a terrible wife and mother I was being.

#10. Picked a fight the day of his company Christmas party so he could tell me not to come. He went “alone”.

#11. He is ALWAYS on his phone, texting or on facebook. Never mentions who hes talking to. Or says its work when I ask.

#12. Has his phone on him at all times. Even sleeping with it. And now he has changed the password on it so I don’t know what it is.

#13. Wont return my calls for hours when hes at work or out, but will text me back within minutes.

#14. Leaves the room when he answers the phone.

#15. Never comes to bed with me. Always stays up or falls asleep on the couch.

#16. He stopped taking care of the house and the yard. He maybe mowed the lawn once this summer. And at the same time, has been overly and ridiculously critical of my housekeeping skills. Same with the kids, is not spending much time with our oldest (something that used to be top priority) and now hes out of the house every night I’m not working. And again, is super critical of my parenting.

#17. Always asking about my schedule, wanting to know where I will be all the time.

#18. He accused ME of having an affair.

#19. He took the car seat out of his car for no reason. (My thought, the seats can fold down and there’s nowhere to hide a giant car seat from a hookup, kinda a buzz kill to be so obviously reminded of children when your trying to get it on…)

#20. Was going out to lunch and spending $25 or $30 at places like Buffalo Wild Wings, Illegal Petes and Smashburger. Would go out with his buddy after work to a place KNOWN for hot and easy waitresses and not tell me, not mention it at all.

#21. Lots of ATM withdrawals when he never used to use cash.

#22. He had what looked like scratches and rug burns on his back. Blamed it on playing soccer.

#23. Suddenly wants sex almost every day.

#24. All he can talk about is how much the women at work piss him off and how much he “disapproves” of his buddy that he hangs out with all the time and apparently pick up chicks with and his behavior. I guess that was a smokescreen because it looks like hes sleeping with at least two of the women in his office and has been picking up girls with his buddy. And fucking them in the car I imagine. Classy.

#25. And I found texts to and from his aforementioned buddy talking about the girls he wanted to hook up, about wanting to find someone to ride him, him asking his buddy for another girls number and his buddy asking for him to tell him all the details… After I found that, there’s no more pretending its not going on. Hes totally cheating on me.

This is seriously the worst thing in the world. I really never thought he would do this. I thought this was the one line he wouldn’t cross, but there you go. Hes a narcissist, I don’t know what I really expected. I should have started looking as soon as I figured out that’s whats wrong with him, but I seriously couldn’t do it. I mean, it makes sense. A lot of his friends have cheated on their wives and girlfriends. And for the four years he was “single” before we got together, all he did was have one night stands. That’s according to him. I’m sure hes slept with way more people than he told me, especially since I found out later that the four he told me originally only counted his “real” relationships, not his one night stands. So another lie, right there.

Its been two days since I found out and I’m still shakey and sick. I just want to leave him right this second, but I cant. I don’t make enough money to support myself, and I have to  finish this bankruptcy and wrap up all the old business stuff, and I have to make a plan… Im not letting him get out of this fine, hes going to have to pay, legally. Anyone know a good private investigator? Ugh…

A more exhaustive list:  ALL of the Signs Your Spouse is Cheating


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39 thoughts on “25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

  1. Debrah says:

    First thing u should do is get checked for any STD he might contract and share with you. Be so sweet, smile lots and don’t have sex with him, becuz, gee you are so tired from kids, house etc..maybe tomorrow..tell him you two should go out on a date. Become the other woman, in the other ones lives, you’re the one still hitched not them. Leave your panties under the seat where SHE will find them! Then laugh to yourself. If u have business stuff, box it up and take it with u, that’s what I did. I am working through so much papers and photos etc of a lifetime together..plan to leave, a messy house even better.. I stupidly cleaned it all yet he still complained at all he is left to deal with..but it will all benefit him too. You can’t win so don’t try.

  2. James K says:

    I came across your post about the “19 signs you’re married to a narcissist” while browsing the net and that sounds JUST like my wife. The only thing that’s difference is that rather than having a high sex drive, she has a low sex drive and never wants anything. We’ve had sex 6 times in the last 2 years and 5 of those times have been rubbish.
    I really want to leave her, but we have a 1 year old boy and I don’t want him to grow up without a father, especially around her, so I’m actively looking for a girlfriend to fill the love void in my life because screw her, I’m worth something. I’m worth love, affection and passion!
    This guide is going to be really useful for helping me hide this. Then again, it’s not like I’m probably going to need to hide much, considering that she’s so obsesses with herself and probably won’t notice what’s going on outside of her own needs.
    Love me or hate me… I’m still saying thanks!

    1. sarah hayes says:

      You are a capital “A” for ASSHOLE! Your one year old boy would do sooooo much better without you!

  3. Viv says:

    I am so very sorry to hear this! I know you’ve posted this a while ago and was wondering what happened since, if you were able to find a private detective and find out more. I sure hope you’ll be able to leave soon..
    Just wanted to add that I was also married (and still is) to a narcissist for 12 years. We’ve been together for 15 and separated right now. I read your other posts and it painfully rings true for me too along with this post. I just also wanted to urge you not to have sex with him because of STDs. I have a similar story to tell but I didn’t want to believe that he would cheat on me either, even after I caught him sending naked pics with various women and being on 2 websites such as match.com. He denied that he ever met anyone, he only admitted to the naked pics, which there were no way denying because I saw them with my own eyes. However, I did contract HPV from him and ended up with cervical cancer and genital warts.
    He did have warts too but he said as an accident he poked himself with a screw driver that’s how he contracted it (lame excuse, isn’t it?)
    Today, I cannot believe I ever fell for his lies …but that’s because I so wanted to believe him and I so wanted things to work out between us. All this happened 7 years ago and I am fine now health wise.
    However, the signs of cheating didn’t stop, and I never caught him again. He became really careful but now I have no doubt that even after this incident he still kept cheating on me. I just didn’t want to see it.
    So please be very careful and try to have him tested somehow (though I know that’s probably impossible, I tried that too but he never went.).

  4. Rebecca says:

    So very true. I feel as though walking in your shoes. Just found this blog and have read all the articles. The sheer terror I’ve experienced has left me rather frozen and incapacitated. Its a paralysis I can’t seem to escape.

    1. Amanda says:

      Rebecca I feel your pain, Im in a similar situation..u have to slowly build yourself back up. U will find your inner strength by necessity in my opinion..no one can do it but you. And I promise it will make u a far stronger person. U just have to absolutely decide that u deserve better and you will do what you need to get better. Focus on yourself, it can be your saving grace. And you will save yourself<3 Big hugs XOX

  5. Elaine says:

    my husband left 6 weeks ago today. We never argued before he left. We have 3 children and his disabled mom lives with us. He lied the first 3 nights he was gone…work, helping a friend. Then he said he needed to find what makes him happy so he could make us happy. I immediately started changing everything he ever complained about. He kept telling me there was hope for us, he just needed time to figure things out. Then came the need to have more money because he had to pay people back. Over a month, he got $1,000. He doesn’t call to check on the kids or his mom. All the kids have cell phones so he could text them or call. He doesn’t. I finally showed up at the house where he has been the whole time. He was livid, refused to talk and went back inside to her. Couldn’t talk because her child was there and it would be disrespectful to do this at her house. Wouldn’t leave though. I still kept telling him to come home, we could start over. Then, 3 days ago, I finally went to his desk and found (in plain sight) papers with girls’ names, phone numbers, email addresses and the words “std negative”, “generous”, a gentleman’s club name and address on them.so now, in addition to the person he abruptly left to be with and is staying with, there are probably internet hookups. I texted him what I found and he has not responded. He will randomly show up at the house, stay for a short time and leave. We have been together for 20 years. Oh, and last week he withdrew almost his whole paycheck..so no money for 4 bills. I have now set up my own checking account and have arranged for money to be transferred as soon as his check hits the bank. I am not going to file at this point, I think he needs to be gone 90 days before I can claim abandonment. No remorse at all.

    1. a says:

      I hope you are ok he sounds like a narcissist for sure. Keep your head up! One day you will be happy if you do. There is no chance a narcissist will ever truly be happy, on the other hand.

  6. NPD victim says:

    Get checked for std’s. Learn if you are suffering from BPD (borderline personality disorder) or anything of the like or just a victim of NPD. Narcissists tend to attract people of this nature to give them their N supply. Make sure you have found your many avaiable sources of help & support: counselor, family, church, & friends (not mutual). Trust that God will provide for you & your children. Leave as soon as you realize you & your children deserve better. File for child support immediately. Learn about narcissistic personality disorder in all it’s forms. Know that everything you do and say will be held against you with a narcissist. (Even if it is right & good) a narcissist will twist it to make you look bad & them look good. Limit contact. Only discuss the matter at hand with no feelings, emotion or blame. PRAY!

  7. Jenna says:

    YESSS- I was married to a military pilot for 12 years and he cheated on me, broke my heart, apologized, did it again (in a BIG way! He must have completely given up even trying because by the time I figured it out, it was MANY women in different states!) and I can tell you firsthand the MAJOR signs for me were:
    -My intuition which I ignored
    -Sleeping with/hiding/keeping his phone on him, changing the password, etc
    -The not coming to bed when I did
    -oddly confident and super into working out and new clothes etc
    -When he was out of town piloting, he would call, say good night, and tell me he was going to bed or whatever so if he was unavailable the rest of the night, he could be like, i told you I was going to bed! (or whatever else he had said he was doing, night flying or whatever)
    Obviously he was calling me from his hotel in a cloud of cologne and shame, getting ready to go pick up chicks
    -blaming a friend at work for being shady. “so-and-so” is cheating, he’s awful…

    So if you have to ask, Is he cheating? He is. If your intuition is telling you he’s keeping secrets, he IS.

    Moved on 3 years ago and couldn’t be happier! Time heals. I am not even upset about it anymore, but I wanted to confirm some of those behaviors listed. Cheers!

    1. Carrie M says:

      Sounds like my ex husband to a T. All of it. The constant fault finding, lying, financial control and chronic cheating mixed in with episodes of intense sex and honeymoon phases. I could write a book over this a**hole. I tried to leave every year for three years. At the last minute he would find out and bam! Trapped again. He moved me away from family, friends, my job at Canada post. Then the crap really started. The emotional abuse escalated, then periodic physical abuse and after the forced intense sex because he loved me right? Lol and he was so sorry but he was just blah blah blah. I called my Dad. I’m forty and I had to ask my father to pay for all the moving expenses. I moved my children and myself home in a rushed 24hr panic while he was away working. I moved back to my home town and within three days he found me and moved in across the back alley from my rental. It’s taken three years and lots of counseling for me. He still calls and texts regularly and wrongly believes that ‘someday I will get over myself and let dad come home’. Lol not a fucking chance this side of hell asshole. It has taken lots of hard emotional work to repair But I’m free. you can be too. Make a plan, GET OUT save your life and most importantly show your children how a woman, wife & mother should be loved and treated.

  8. Heidi says:

    So that’s it ? There really isn’t any hope of happiness in a marriage if he is a narc ?
    Oh this is just perfect ……bloody brilliant ……..I married a narcissist . 12 years of emptiness and hurt, well at least I know now, you know I always knew something wasn’t right . I didn’t want it to be this though, cause now there’s no way of avoiding more hurt . Dam it now I know this it changes everything .
    Lost. Lonely. Broken. Confused. Scared. Bloody annoyed what a waste of my life.

    1. Chrissy says:

      Can relate sorry to hear ur ups and downs I know mine and boy it can be heaven or hell. Learning to deal with my husband has been exhausting sometimes want to give up. I stay for my kids…I love him but he hurts me so much in the little everyday things he should do….he over looks with no regard.
      Hope u find peace

    2. AB says:

      I put my story elsewhere, but basically a narcissist won’t get better. My husband is 40 and is having some kind of mid-life crisis and is leaving next month to live with and help out a family he met on the internet. He will be at least two days driving distance from me. He has given me no timeframe for his return nor has he been specific as to what he is going to do for this family. He screams at me that I just don’t understand him. Well, I don’t. I can understand business travel, but not this. I know I am not crazy for not getting this. Part of me hopes he doesn’t come back. I have told him I don’t feel right about this trip, but he doesn’t care about my feelings at all and is annoyed that I’m not giving my blessing to this insanity. Oh, and there are two single women in that family, one of whom he admits has feelings for him. What woman in her right mind would feel good about this? Apparently, this is just typical of a narcissist. I’ve put up with his refusing to get a job, but this trip is pretty much the final straw for me. I’m probably going to look into legal counsel while he’s away because I certainly don’t want to end up paying alimony when I’ve paid for nearly everything for him for almost 10 years.

    3. Ashley says:

      Youtube lisa a Ramono she is amazing and will be your life guide to healing best of luck

  9. connie says:

    Losers all I ever had! But now I’m living for me! Do the things I want to do! And I’m actually happy!

  10. jaclyn says:

    So sorry you had to live this, I am living this right now. My husband keeps tellling me that it is my fault he is cheating and that I should have tried to keep him happy. I have gone to get tested many times, and am always paranoid he brought something home. Trying to plan an escape, but it is so rough… I feel for all you women out there HUGS!!! Hate that we are all trapped

    1. Deeanne says:

      I’m not sure if my husband is a narcissistic or not..part of me may be denying it…married to this guy 20 years. Even when we were dating I couldn’t figure out what was wrong between us but I loved him deeply. We have no kids, he has a very good job and makes 3/4 of the money. When married a couple of years he started talking to girls online, a friend tried to warn me he was cheating but I didn’t believe it. He would make me feel bad about wanting to spend time with him. Fast forward to 6 years ago when he would totally flip out over very small issues…I took a job working second shift and he hated it and I ended up finding emails between him & different girls…I confronted him & he denied despite the emails I printed out to show him….went to counseling but only for 6 weeks…of course HE decided we didn’t need it any more…year later & he’s cheated again…confronted again blows up despite the evidence again.
      I’ve stayed with him because I don’t make enough to support myself either. I have no one I can live with because I have a dog that I will not give up(I need her) & my parents live in an adult 55+ community that I am too young for. My only out is when my parents pass & leave me their house. Now a week ago he ordered male performance pills & we do not have sex mainly cuz I do not want any diseases. Then another bottle of pills showed up a couple days later which are muscle building pills which he says are his diet pills…which they are not..he is not dieting & not working out. I was very hurt by this & was not talking to him much. we went for dinner the day before valentines day with his mom…she paid. During dinner he said how he couldn’t get me anything for valentine’s because I didn’t want candy or flowers..true but I knew this was a cop-out…sure enough, despite me getting a card for him & a cheap video game I got zero…with him stating he “didn’t get out” to get me anything……he sat on the couch all day & played video games….I was very hurt…all I wanted was a card…he never opened the card I gave him…I found that still on the couch when I picked up the laptop to put it on the charger. ..not sure if he left it there so I would see the card hadn’t been looked at to make me feel bad or what. If I confront him about the pills I know he will blow up at me so I don’t bother. Ironically he did open his video game…turns out it was one he already has.
      He frequently makes excuses for not getting me gifts except at Xmas (when I do get a good amount from him). I am tired of being hurt with his lack of giving (he was getting better at this and his general attitude due to guidance from some neighbors) but the past holiday was a couple steps backward & is making me re- examine this. I am on the verge of not wanting to spend ANY holiday with him anymore just to protect myself from him. I’m tired of being his victim but I don’t know if it’s me or him. 6 months ago he was bullying me when we went out to dinner with these neighbors…couldn’t figure out why he was acting up again especially in front of the neighbors….found out it was cuz he wanted to go on a weekend trip with the neighbor to a city we just made reservations to go on a trip to for just the two of us(he knew I would not be happy….because I wanted this trip to be for the 2 of us) he figured he could force me into letting him go. I think the neighbor stepped in & said no cuz they knew I was upset. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not. I only have 1 person I can talk to & she has a busy life…I’m not sure where I am headed with him now…we don’t go out so much with these neighborsas much as we usually do anymore…I think they r keeping their distance but hubby is close friends with neighbor hubby…I can’t help but wonder if he has told them that I am the crazy one & since I have been depressed lately I guess I might be looking that way to them. Sorry this is long…any thoughts on hubby or how I go about getting out of this???

      1. AB says:

        If I were you I’d find a job that you can support yourself with so you don’t feel you have to depend on him financially. That will give you options. Your husband sounds very ill and obviously has no empathy for you. Not to scare you, but if he were to up and leave you would be in big trouble financially. A friend of mine is going through this scenario now, and it is not pretty. You need to take care of yourself now and get that job.

      2. Michelle says:

        20 year marriage… Get a great divorce attorney and take everything you can! Get out!

        1. Martha Henslee says:

          Short and sweet but so true! I wish I would have known this 12 years ago when I got divorced. I was faithfully going to individual and group therapy to try and save our marriage. He was going too, but I later found out that he had already hired an aggressive attorney and had begun planning to file for divorce a year in advance, meanwhile draining our bank accounts, running up the credit cards, taking the reimbursement secretly, from the med. Insurance company (he paid for his therapy and his lawyer solely with our mutual cards, but collected the cash for himself!). When he finally told me I was going to be served with divorce papers, I was DEVASTATED!!!! I thought we were WORKING on our MARRIAGE! I felt so betrayed! I could barely function! I got an atty to hopefully mediate a fair settlement, but he refused all our offers and told me (exact quote): “no, you are going to owe half of all our debts, and I am going to get everything, the house, the kids, belongings, savings, retirement, etc. I wish I had been prepared and known about No Contact. He proceeded to “hammer me into the ground when I was at my lowest and then some in the most EVIL ways possible. , I did get the house and the kids and he has not paid child support for many yrs. When the settlement did not go his way he continued to belittle me, turned my kids, my friends and my family against me, told everyone I was crazy, broke into my house numerous times and took most all of our photos, my journals and misc. possesions he thought he should have gotten in the divorce…..And he continued to do this for 10 more yrs, smear campaigns, flying monkeys, I was so alone for those 12 yrs. It was only by educating myself and going no contact this past year that I could even start the healing process. So many years lost and not being there emotionally for my kids, blaming myself! So much destruction!!!!l

  11. AB says:

    Mine just dyed his salt and pepper hair black. He never cared about his hair before. I took a look recently at his facebook friends and many are scantily clad women, some involved in the porno industry. Come on. I don’t think he’s actually done anything physical yet since he rarely leaves the house, but he’s going on his so-called business trip soon and I know some of those facebook woman live where he’s going. Coincidence? I’m not that stupid! I look at my father who I believe never cheated on my mother and tell myself there are good men out there, but it’s getting harder to believe.

  12. Vonni says:

    I just want to say THANK YOU!!! All of you amazing and brave women who have the courage to tell the truth, however excruciatingly painful it is. The humiliation of realizing that I have been seduced and even fell in love with a man who is a now DIVORCING ME, when I should have done the divorcing a long time ago! Reading your comments rang frighteningly true with me. OH SHIT!!! I am right, I am not crazy, too emotional, too sensitive, or irrational. I am not a desperate and unlovable woman who deserves to be “PUT AWAY”. I am going to find ( any suggestions, ladies?) a KICK ASS divorce lawyer who knows how to deal with these kind of men who love destroying women’s lives. Thank GOD I know that I am loved and cherished by GOD. I hope you women out there can know the same love that I have found. I believe that not only will I survive the devastation that my husband is currently trying to achieve, but I will rise above all of his abuse and forgive. I am not saying I will forget, but I wont let him take the one thing that I have left…my heart…I refuse to hate, I refuse to pity myself, and I refuse to believe that I wont ever find a man who is genuine and truly kind and loving. MYYYY BADDD!…Moving ON!!!!

  13. Lloub says:

    I had no signs of his cheating. I thought we were happy. Looking back no I can see I had adapted to living with a narcissist. But, I probably learned that from growing up in a dysfunctional home. My first clue… I had a positive pap. Dr tested for hpv and that came back positive too. I asked him if he was cheating. Of course he accused me. I had no other proof for months. Then it was revealed to me, multiple archived conversations on face book that dated back 3 years with multiple women. One in particular which, later he confessed, involved him bringing a buddy with him. When I asked him about it I included details. He still denied. So I told him in that case he wouldn’t mind giving me his passwords to everything. Then I showed him the conversations, that is when he confessed and agreed to see our pastor for counseling. On the way to our first counseling visit I told him if I ever discovered he was keeping secrets from me again we were through. Later, those abnormal cell did not resolve. The dr said I was high risk for cervical cancer and needed a cone biopsy. Well, during that procedure I started bleeding which required an emergency hysterectomy. During that they tore my bladder for which they had to call in a urologist. After that surgery the tear did not heal properly and I developed a fistula. I had a catheter for 5 months! And another major surgery to fix it!!! During my recovery I had a breakdown. We went to counseling but he wasted all those hours talking about anything but our marriage. When he accused me of snooping on his phone and began deleting calls right in front of me was when I knew it was finally over for me. I’m close to 50. Working an entry level job. My elderly parents applied for a mortgage so I could get a house. I have nothing to show for my first 50 years. I had to relocate so I’ve lost my friend network. Everyday is a struggle. No one understands the pain of losing the man I thought he was. I grive over the loss even tho I know now, it was only an illusion.

    1. Michelle says:

      Your story I think has given me the last that I need to hear. My husband is no doubt a narcissist but I have felt like he might have been doing stuff behind my back have looked for proof found none. Asked if I could go through his phone… Told me to get out of his face perhaps that should have been enough. Where do you live?

  14. I’m sorry James. I found out the same about my husband at the same time you posted that. He was on every cheating and dating site known to man. Of course he didn’t do it. It’s a ghost or an alien filling that stuff out for him lmao. Patti.tubbs71@yahoo.com
    I need support. Please

  15. CJ says:

    Can someone please tell me if this type of person seems narcissistic, sociopathic, or both? My best friend’s husband lies, cheats, & cheats constantly. He cares about no one unless they are supplying him $, sex, or some form of status. He manipulates clients and commits fraud and could care less. He denies ever doing anything wrong. He never pays back credit cards or loans. He gets judgments and lawsuits against him constantly and he could care less. He has caused her 2x in the past to have foreclosure issues. His attitude is just go bankrupt and start again. He likes younger women pining over him. He has caused multiple younger gals to contemplate suicide after dealing with his lies and BS. He thinks all younger women are stupid and older women are useless. He makes fun of everyone. I don’t get it? I really don’t!!!! On top of that he loves to be in the limelight always has to be center of attention, name on his license plate, late to holiday dinners on purpose, loud out in public, loves to be in the newspaper, tv, or radio. He thrives off of LOOK AT ME! He will project ot the whole planet that he is some hot stuff big wig when in reality he is swimming in debt, has a rocky marriage, has caused multiple issues with multiple clients, screws over his own parents, blame shifts my good friend saying if she were more of a woman and wife to him he wouldn’t act out, he drinks like a fish, always has to buy the most expensive computers known to man, the latest and greatest phones, buys the kids the most expensive everything even though he can’t afford it, He pulls the found God card. Yet, constantly p’s off people! Doesn’t care who’s feelings get hurt, who’s marriages or relationships go belly up, who’s finances he messes up, who ends up in court because of him. Why do some people think life is but a joke? She stand by her man crap and he’s really going to take the ship down hard this time. Why doesn’t she wake up and smell the crappy coffee she is drinking? Does he sound narcissistic? Thank you!

    1. Samantha Matthews says:

      Yes, I would say he has narcissist issues. And probably more. I don’t diagnose, but those traits you mentioned sure sound like a narcissist to me.

  16. Emily says:

    And here I am, 13 years and 4 kids later. Sad reading others’ comments and knowing I’m in the same boat. Praying and wondering how those written before me are doing and feeling anxious about my decision to stay in the marriage by leaning on my faith and praying for God to give me a love for him knowing I may not ever receive that in return. Not yo mention keep my sanity in the daily struggle. I dated such wonderful guys and then to end up like this is so overwhelming.

  17. Kristie says:

    Honestly, when will mwn ever evolve into compassionate responsible human beings. If you are lucky enough catch one, never let go.
    I have been with my Nars for 20 yrs now.
    3 beautiful dynamic but scarred boys under 10.

    The main thing is to not forget the main thing(s)…. The kid’s.
    Over 5 extremely horrible years, I’m thinking it’s time to stop waiting and hoping. My faith is gone but I still have dream. if you need to stop the pattern and you know what you need to do to hav a much better quality of life ….. DO IT!!!
    You alone need to be strong and make it happen.
    The prize is inner peace, confidence within yourself. if you do this you can do anything.xxx

  18. CarolineHere says:

    Well I left mine!!!! Never been happier!!! He lied and cheated and womanized constantly!! Ruined sooooo many lives it’s truly pathetic. Heard through the grapevine he is miserable!!!! Two of the women he was cheating with each found out they weren’t his only one! Go figure!!! He lied to them too!!!! They can’t stand his a.. now!!!! His career is in the toilet, he owes a boatload on credit issues, his business partners are wanting him out since too much headaches, family members think he’s a prick, the kids are tired of his lies, the lawyers don’t want to hear his BS anymore, clients think he’s a selfish immature jerk, the list goes on and on! I am soooo flipping happy to finally be at peace and be able to think straight! Sexually healing, emotionally, and financially!!!! Not sure about other women out there in the same boat, but trying to enjoy sex with someone you can’t trust is like trying to nail jello to a tree, it wasn’t working. I will never again tolerate such BS in my life, I’d rather be alone or take the time to meet a decent, sane, honest guy then deal with a cheat!!!! Life is too precious for that crap!!! Good luck to you all!

    1. Samantha Matthews says:

      congrats! Im so happy for you!!!! <3

  19. Ashley says:

    I hope you are free now …. I know exactly what were going through i think they(Narcissist) have a “How to” be devils …. I found his dirt 4 YEARS AGO and im traped and no way out BUT i am reprogramming and doing the only foot work i can with my situation and work on ME i can only control one thing and that MYSELF

  20. Mia says:

    OMG….. get this. My narcissist husband was really sick and at first emergency room doctors said kidney stone. He was given meds and sent home. 9 days later I rush him back in to same hospital. Now they look deeper and find a rip in his spleen. This is caused by blunt force trauma. He tried to say that our 12 pound pug did it to him the day he cane back with pills to pass kids diet stone. The doctors asking me if he was in accident. He has surgery to patch the spot. He comes home and two days later I can’t take it anymore he is even worse now. Emergency spleen removal surgery. Very serious operation. Now he swears he must have done it two months ago when we off shooting guns. Hardly. To me he is hiding something whether he wrecked someone else’s car or had a rough romp in the hay. I know this sounds bad but I’ve suspected he is sleeping with dudes. I won’t have sex with him. I have no idea who he screwing. And I’m not attracted to him anymore. He has to shoot his penis with a needle to get hard. We weren’t having sex too often he was less sexual than I was. He gets veterans benefits I go with him to first appointment. He focuses on blood pressure, diet and pills for sex. Doesn’t focus on fact he can’t hear worth shit. He can’t see and he is absent minded which I think is just an act. He runs off to auto auctions for his work but I seen him buying cars already online the night before. Then he has to deal with the dealers bitching about things he didn’t know wrong with the vehicle since he didn’t see it first hand. He thinks I don’t pay attention. Out of all the cars he can buy for himself to have as our spare car if we need it( his car) usually it would be a luxury sedan or sports car dark tinted windows. Now he buys the worst car ever as far as reliably goes. He now uses the I broke down excuses. I thought that was for younger dumb guys who can only afford very old used cars. My husbands a piece of work. I want to divorce him but now he is not working and could careless too. He wants me to use up all my money I have from sale of a house. He wants me broke and then he will not make house payments. I can see writing on the wall. My husband uses those descret hook up sites where you hook up locally and hit it and split. I found a phone number that I looked up and the number went right to naughty decree hook ups. Local hook ups. I created a account and used my friends pic with her permission first. Yep he took the bait. I’m suppose to meet up with him Saturday. Ha ha ha won’t he be surprised

    1. Ashley says:

      so with my experience and with my love to you being a fellow victim of narcissism I feel it’s necessary to advise you the possibilities of causing harm to yourself and doing this I understand the closure you feel is necessary and deserving but please keep in mind over everything else if you’re doing this do it at a love not with hate and there’s bigger chances of hurting yourself because of possible expectations for a certain reaction but what i mean is he could act like it isn’t a big deal and it can hurt you and cause dissonance and the emotional confusion could wreck your thought proccess, i would suggest a written plan with “what ifs”- “I will” try and come up with every scenario you think will come into play and give yourself answers just as preparation and lastly I would recommend you make sure in build a good solid support system four at the end of the day maybe even find someone that can go with you even if it’s waiting in the car it’s going to hurt if his reaction is as if you were nothing your time at nothing and he doesn’t care about you but you have to really focus on the facts that narcissist do not have the ability to love they do not have the ability to show compassion they do not have the ability to have feelings and it’s going to be a smack in the face regardless of the preparation just know that you are not alone there’s so many things you can do to heal from this I wish you the best of luck my heart is with you I’m so sorry for the waste of time and feelings and YouTube Lisa a Romano narcissistic abuse she has so many videos she is such an inspiration I’m almost to the ass end of my Escape my life is about to come and if you want to talk or have questions or you just learned something new you’d like to share please hit me up as a fellow child of God we can all be there for each other…..
      Ashley Reynolds

  21. Shannon Gentry says:

    I’m just learning about narcissistic behavior disorders..this describes my husband to the “T”. Wow! I didn’t want to believe it. But the cheating and lying and has a answer for everything. The 360 change like as if he’s another person, the flipping things like it’s me that has a problem, the ” no sex or intimacy or conversations” the ignoring me for months, sudden niceness from no where…all points to it. We’ve only been married for 1 yr and 4 1/2 months

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