45 Lies a Narcissist Tells to Control You
A narcissist by definition, needs you more than you need them. They feed off of our admiration, and baring that, simply our attention, good or bad. However, this is their number one fear, that we will realize how little they actually give back to us, gather our OWN self confidence, and leave them. Therefore, they will say or do anything, ANYTHING, to make you change your mind and stay in the relationship. There are a number of signs controlling relationship, here are some phrases you may be hearing on a regular basis.
SIGNS Controlling Relationship:
- I Will Change (or I HAVE changed).
- You’re Overreacting.
- I have NEVER cheated on you (or I’m a faithful husband).
- You’re acting crazy.
- You will never be anything without me.
- If you wouldn’t make me so angry I wouldn’t do ________ (or As long as you don’t do ____ I wont do ______).
- You should just do what I asked and then we wouldn’t have a problem.
- Why are you doing it like that? That makes no sense.
- If you were home all day, why isn’t _______ done? What did you do all day?
- I give you everything.
- All you ever do is ask for stuff (or “all I ever hear is ‘I want, I want, I want'”).
- Don’t you love me?
- Every other wife/mother does ______ ,except you.
- You’re lazy!
- I hate you!
- You don’t realize how lucky you are.
- I’m doing this for your own good.
- You’re too weak to be alone.
- I make more money than you so you don’t need to work.
- You’re too fat. (or more subtly, maybe you should go on a diet/ go to the gym/ not eat that).
- Quit whining.
- Another woman would treat me better.
- (My ex) used to do _____ for me but you don’t.
- You don’t do anything right!
- I always have to do everything!
- You don’t communicate.
- You don’t give me any affection.
- I don’t feel like you love me anymore.
- You’re pathetic.
- I can’t believe how worthless you are, I carry this family!
- I’m sorry, but _______.
- You would be so much more attractive if _______.
- The only reason anyone would be with you is for sex.
- You don’t want me to be happy.
- If you leave Ill tell people_______.
- If you leave you will never see the kids again.
- How could you think about walking out on me and the kids?!
- You’re destroying this family!
- If you leave, Ill hurt myself and it will be your fault.
- No one else will love you.
- Other people don’t like you, good thing you have me!
- No one else is bothered by _______, whats your problem?
- (Name of someone close to you)____ always lets you down, why do you spend so much time with them?
- I feel like you’re ignoring me.
- ________________________. (Nothing at all, silence and ignoring you is a form of control)
Obviously, some of these could be perfectly innocent and genuine. Sometimes you do need to tell someone when you feel your being ignored or if they hurt you. But, the overall picture should be taken into account and you should realize that an atmosphere of criticism and anxiety about displeasing them is not normal or healthy in a relationship. These phrases are used often to gain and keep control between partners and are serious signs controlling relationship.
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