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8 Self Care Tips

One of the things I have noticed is as time has gone on and I have been subjected to the Narcissist, I have kind-of given up on myself. There was a time my nails were buffed, my hair stayed neatly cut and dyed, my legs were waxed or shaved. I don’t really take the time to take care of myself at all anymore, but I’m trying to start back up. These things are essential for us as women to feel like we matter!

I do understand however, that suddenly getting all glammed up can be a problem for women in our situation, nothing can light a narcissists fire up like jealousy, deserved or not. So the 8 self care tips I’m putting here are not for major makeover beauty, these are self-care tips to help YOU feel better in ways he probably won’t even notice.


Self Care Tips #1. Dry Brushing.

Exfoliation used to be something I was religious about! I HAD to get at least my legs and the back of my arms every shower or I didn’t feel clean. Course, buying an extra product soon became too expensive for the grocery allowance, and with a kiddo to feed, along with two big dogs, it just wasn’t in the budget. However, dry brushing is cheap, and actually works and feels even better than using an exfoliation body scrub, it stimulates your lymph system to improve your circulation and help your body flush out toxins. The brush I bought at Target was $4, (http://www.target.com/p/the-bathery-bristle-wood-bath-brush/-/A-14779592#prodSlot=medium_1_5&term=body+brush) and I have had mine for a while now. They say to replace them, but I think if you wash it and keep it dry and clean, you can use it until the bristles start to fall down.

DO NOT use a synthetic bristle brush, it’s much too harsh for your skin. Make sure you choose a natural one.

Use small circular motions, starting at your feet and working your way up to your heart. Always work towards your center, you don’t want to be pushing things out to your fingertips.


Self Care Tips #2. Take a Bath

Taking a bath is a little harder to fit into your day. With kids and the narc around, forget it. But, if you do get a night to yourself, after you put the kids to bed, instead of falling into bed yourself, cleaning the house, or zoning out on Pinterest, draw yourself a bath and soak for 10-15 minutes. Adding some green tea bags (10-15) or Epsom salts will help relax you and detoxify your system as well. And you will sleep better! You may need to plan all day to make sure you can have the time you want, but it will be worth it for your soul and your body. And while you’re in there…


Self Care Tips #3. Face Masks

There is something really luxurious about using a face mask! And there are so many recipes you can make at home, if you’re not wanting to buy a mask. I personally, use a natural clay mask, I bought a big tub of powdered clay at my natural food store one time after I sold something, (I think some old baby clothes or equipment) and it was $10. I have barely even made a dent in it and it’s SO amazing for my skin! Do a little research on what will work best with your skin type. You may be just happy with an egg white and honey mask, or maybe yogurt and cinnamon, or there are plenty of inexpensive masks at the grocery store as well.


Self Care Tips #4. Manicure

You don’t need to go crazy or spend a ton of money at a salon to polish up your nails. Just cleaning up your cuticles, buffing your nails and using a little oil to keep them moisturized will do wonders for how your hands look! And every time you look down at what your doing you will get a little extra boost. Its superficial, yes, but its the little things, really. 🙂


Self Care Tips #5. Yoga

Yoga is AMAZING for stress relief. I swear, sometimes after a session I have the same feeling as after I get an hour long massage! (Which happens almost never). Yoga can also help reduce the anxiety we deal with as victims/ survivors. It can also enhance your mood and overall sense of well-being! And you don’t need to spend hours balancing upside down on your hands, even short beginner routines really help with calming you down and allowing the negative emotions to go away for awhile.

Great Stress Relieving Yoga Routines:





Self Care Tips #6. Read

Read a good book or a trashy romance novel. Something fiction that will take you to a positive place, be it romance (not always a good choice, sometimes those just make me sadder because they are so far from my own reality) or a great crime novel with a wonderful heroine. Your mind needs a break from your situation and going off to another universe helps!


Self Care Tips #7. Do something you used to LOVE to do.

What were the things you did before the narc took over your life? Did you write, paint, draw, see plays, watch soap operas? Pick something that was special to you and do it again, away from the narc, outside of judgment. Connect to who you are again.



Create a Picture of your Dream Life- 8 Self Care Tips

Self Care Tips #8. Write down your vision for your future

This one is a little different, and may require some serious self-reflection. But writing down your vision for where you want to go is so powerful and uplifting I couldn’t leave it out. If you are not intentional about where you want to be, you will never get there! So find yourself a small notebook, or create a file on your computer (hidden from anyone else) and start dreaming. Add pictures, put down every crazy thing you might think of. I am going to go to Italy, and drink wine and eat fabulous food in this restaurant, with someone I love.

But I also write down more basic and practical goals, like in 12 months I want to be able to make enough money to support myself independently, I want to have a savings account to furnish my new home, I want to have increased my credit score by 70 points, and I want to have begun meeting with my lawyer to establish my getaway. These are tangible, immediate goals I want to achieve, and having them in front of me keeps me motivated, purposeful, and hopeful for my future. That doesn’t mean I’m happy every day, not even close, but it does mean I’m not despairing over my situation all the time.


Making a few small changes at a time will really start to help you recover, even while you’re still with the narcissist. We get so beat down its hard to gather enough motivation to recover ourselves, these simple steps can help get us to a stronger, more confidant place inside.


8 Self Care Tips

-8 Self Care tips. For victims of domestic abuse.

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2 thoughts on “8 Self Care Tips

  1. Sorry if my ealier bad language seemed amittedly overenthusiastic. My depressive thinking is letting me down when I dont see my therapist for long. I will seek treatment. Please put it down to lack of medication. It traumatizes me so much. What really can devastate a formal partnership is anger issues. Just try to heal yourself. Get talk therapy. Nobody shold deal with irrational behavior alone. What really can burn down a partnership is infidelity.

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