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Walking Away From a Narcissist

I moved out last week. It feels surreal to even write that. It was like walking out of a hurricane and landing on a quiet beach. I can breathe now. And it’s crazy because I didn’t expect that. I totally expected to be in a tornado of emotion and panic, to be scrambling and worried and defensive and angry. I am none of those things. Maybe the tidal wave will still hit me, but I really don’t think so. I think I finally realized what I was allowing in my life, and that I didn’t need it anymore. I finally...
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17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression

17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression Pretty much every woman/man I have talked to with a narcissistic partner has some depression/depressed attitudes. (See the graphic below to evaluate some of the signs of depression in women and men). This is to be expected after a prolonged period of mental and emotional abuse. Your spirit kind of dies and sinks a little as you lose the hope of your relationship ever being healthy and you forget who you are. Its super important though, to recognize that this is temporary and you can get yourself back, even while you’re still WITH...
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Same Sh*t, Different Day

So, he finally asked me about my taxes today, and was predictably pissed when I told him I claimed one of the kids. Gave me this whole long speech about what if “we” could have gotten more money by him filing and claiming both kids.   At the end of the argument, he stalked off in a huff and told me “I’m sure glad I’m a part of your life!”. This is a tactic. He does things on his own all the time and since I didn’t ask permission to claim one of the kids and he wont get as...
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Going Grey Rock

Going Grey Rock So for the past few months I’ve been in survival mode, placating him and trying to repair/ rebuild my life behind the scenes. I’ve been trying to live like everything is fine and great and wonderful. Not making waves, not fighting back, going along with his plans. Not even thinking about using the Grey Rock method at all. But now I’m done with that. I’ve been reading more (I will get my reviews up this next week, I promise. I’ve read some awesome books you guys!) and I’m realizing how to get rid of a narcissist: be...
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Documenting Narcissistic Abuse

Documenting Narcissistic Abuse
Documenting Narcissistic Abuse One of the most important things you can do when preparing to leave an abusive relationship is documenting the abuse your going through. This is critical for a couple reasons:  #1, If you end up in court then you will have something to support your word against his. #2, After your gone you will have something solid to reference when the narc either tries to hoover you back in or continues to gaslight you.  (For the purposes of this article I will be using the pronoun him to refer to the abuser. Feel free to insert whatever...
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Narcissism and Trained Responses

Narcissism Trained Responses
Narcissism and Trained Responses I filed my taxes today. And Im freaking out because even though he informed me a couple weeks ago we would be filing separately, (didn’t ask or discuss, just told me thats what he was doing) I didn’t talk to him first and double check to make sure thats still the plan and that he really wanted to give up the extra tax credit we would get filing together. You know, like a normal married couple would. Im Nervous… And I’m realizing this is a trained response. He has conditioned me to worry about doing things...
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Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist

divorcing a narcissist
Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist “I don’t understand why you stay” “He is so horrible, you will be better off without him, just go!” “You should just leave him!” ~Divorcing a Narcissist I hear these things weekly, if not daily here on the blog. And I get it, I would say the same thing to me, or would have, before I lived it. Before I DID “just leave”. Before I understood why people go back to relationships like this. Make no mistake, its not for any overwhelming love or desire for him. It was for practical reasons...
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When Does Bible say Divorce Acceptable?

When Does Bible Say Divorce is Right? First off, I am not going to preach about does Bible say divorce is evil. I think God gave us divorce for a reason, if you are with a Narcissist, you have good in your soul and he/she is feeding off you. Also, while I don’t believe every word of the Bible is to be followed (because, bacon!) as far as living a good life full of love, there is a lot great information there. I do believe in God, I believe He loves me and you immeasurably, I also believe there is...
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45 Lies a Narcissist Tells to Control You…

SIGNS CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP
45 Lies a Narcissist Tells to Control You A narcissist by definition, needs you more than you need them. They feed off of our admiration, and baring that, simply our attention, good or bad. However, this is their number one fear, that we will realize how little they actually give back to us, gather our OWN self confidence, and leave them. Therefore, they will say or do anything, ANYTHING,  to make you change your mind and stay in the relationship. There are a number of signs controlling relationship, here are some phrases you may be hearing on a regular basis....
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Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up

The Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up… Silent Treatment: Silent Treatment: an act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence, especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval. ~Webster Silent Treatment is used as a passive aggressive form of communication, to convey contempt, disapproval, and displeasure. Narcissists often use this tactic when you confront them about something they have done wrong. This allows them to place the blame for the situation on you AND allows them to avoid taking any responsibility for their own hurtful or wrong actions, thereby invalidating...
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