Thoughts and Ramblings…

My Absense… I haven’t written in a long time, I am sorry! I actually haven’t been able to sit and ponder things enough to make any sense in a while, and Im not totally confidant that this will make sense either. But I have some things on my heart to share, so here it goes… Seems the longer I am removed from the Narcissist the more I see scars I didn’t know existed. I guess the main one I have noticed is that I am afraid. The Fear Oh, I know how that sounds, like I will jump out of...
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10 Things I’ve Learned After Divorcing a Narcissist

Where I Am Now- One Year Later Its been a year now, after divorcing a narcissist, and Its the strangest feeling ever. I’m sorry for being silent for so long, I just needed space to get through this last part without trying to explain it to anyone. Im doing really well, I have a great job, a great financial footing, a great direction and I’m in a happy, healthy relationship. I feel like I’ve left the pain behind me, and taken the lessons. Sometimes it feels like it happened to someone else, and I guess in a way it did....
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10 Quotes Emotional Abuse Survival

Emotional Abuse Survival Emotional abuse survival isn’t just about getting to the next day, its a lifelong journey to unlearn all the destructive beliefs you have been forced to internalize over the years. You don’t even know how much you need to unlearn until you start digging and then things can pop up years later that you suddenly realize are lies. Things you accepted at truth, that shaped your worldview will be brought to light for the destructive forces they are. So don’t give up if you left thinking yo will be fine now that your not hearing the abuse...
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Righteous Anger

So, got my divorce decree today. It’s a weird feeling. Someone compared it to having a rotten tooth pulled, the pain is gone, but you still run your tongue over the empty place and feel the loss. I think that’s the perfect analogy. The thing that has surprised me though, is the rage. Mine. At odd moments, for no reason I can identify, I am soul-shakingly angry. And if you know me, I am NOT that person. I probably err on the side of being TOO nice actually (duh, married to a narc for ten years, WAY too nice). But...
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19 Things to Remember when Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse

19 Things to Remember when Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse I am almost three months into my divorce process and the time and space have done amazing things to heal my heart and soul. I will admit, things have been much easier for me than I expected. I got a great job right away, which is gradually ramping up my hours so I have time to adjust and get my finances in order before I get off government assistance. I have all the support I need from my family and Im living with my parents, which, while...
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UPDATE :)

  I know I kinda went MIA lately. I suppose in some ways I was terrified of being all “I left him!!! Whoohoo!!!” and then falling on my face or going back to him or some total idiocy like that. But rest assured, that’s not going to happen. I’m cured. No longer the least bit interested in his games and I see right through all his shit (the jerk stuff and the trying to be “nice” stuff) which pisses him right off and is my secret guilty pleasure to make him irritated by not letting him give me stuff… lol!...
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Walking Away From a Narcissist

I moved out last week. It feels surreal to even write that. It was like walking out of a hurricane and landing on a quiet beach. I can breathe now. And it’s crazy because I didn’t expect that. I totally expected to be in a tornado of emotion and panic, to be scrambling and worried and defensive and angry. I am none of those things. Maybe the tidal wave will still hit me, but I really don’t think so. I think I finally realized what I was allowing in my life, and that I didn’t need it anymore. I finally...
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17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression

17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression Pretty much every woman/man I have talked to with a narcissistic partner has some depression/depressed attitudes. (See the graphic below to evaluate some of the signs of depression in women and men). This is to be expected after a prolonged period of mental and emotional abuse. Your spirit kind of dies and sinks a little as you lose the hope of your relationship ever being healthy and you forget who you are. Its super important though, to recognize that this is temporary and you can get yourself back, even while you’re still WITH...
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Same Sh*t, Different Day

So, he finally asked me about my taxes today, and was predictably pissed when I told him I claimed one of the kids. Gave me this whole long speech about what if “we” could have gotten more money by him filing and claiming both kids.   At the end of the argument, he stalked off in a huff and told me “I’m sure glad I’m a part of your life!”. This is a tactic. He does things on his own all the time and since I didn’t ask permission to claim one of the kids and he wont get as...
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Going Grey Rock

Going Grey Rock So for the past few months I’ve been in survival mode, placating him and trying to repair/ rebuild my life behind the scenes. I’ve been trying to live like everything is fine and great and wonderful. Not making waves, not fighting back, going along with his plans. Not even thinking about using the Grey Rock method at all. But now I’m done with that. I’ve been reading more (I will get my reviews up this next week, I promise. I’ve read some awesome books you guys!) and I’m realizing how to get rid of a narcissist: be...
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