Documenting Narcissistic Abuse

Documenting Narcissistic Abuse
Documenting Narcissistic Abuse One of the most important things you can do when preparing to leave an abusive relationship is documenting the abuse your going through. This is critical for a couple reasons:  #1, If you end up in court then you will have something to support your word against his. #2, After your gone you will have something solid to reference when the narc either tries to hoover you back in or continues to gaslight you.  (For the purposes of this article I will be using the pronoun him to refer to the abuser. Feel free to insert whatever...
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Narcissism and Trained Responses

Narcissism Trained Responses
Narcissism and Trained Responses I filed my taxes today. And Im freaking out because even though he informed me a couple weeks ago we would be filing separately, (didn’t ask or discuss, just told me thats what he was doing) I didn’t talk to him first and double check to make sure thats still the plan and that he really wanted to give up the extra tax credit we would get filing together. You know, like a normal married couple would. Im Nervous… And I’m realizing this is a trained response. He has conditioned me to worry about doing things...
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Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist

divorcing a narcissist
Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist “I don’t understand why you stay” “He is so horrible, you will be better off without him, just go!” “You should just leave him!” ~Divorcing a Narcissist I hear these things weekly, if not daily here on the blog. And I get it, I would say the same thing to me, or would have, before I lived it. Before I DID “just leave”. Before I understood why people go back to relationships like this. Make no mistake, its not for any overwhelming love or desire for him. It was for practical reasons...
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When Does Bible say Divorce Acceptable?

When Does Bible Say Divorce is Right? First off, I am not going to preach about does Bible say divorce is evil. I think God gave us divorce for a reason, if you are with a Narcissist, you have good in your soul and he/she is feeding off you. Also, while I don’t believe every word of the Bible is to be followed (because, bacon!) as far as living a good life full of love, there is a lot great information there. I do believe in God, I believe He loves me and you immeasurably, I also believe there is...
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45 Lies a Narcissist Tells to Control You…

SIGNS CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP
45 Lies a Narcissist Tells to Control You A narcissist by definition, needs you more than you need them. They feed off of our admiration, and baring that, simply our attention, good or bad. However, this is their number one fear, that we will realize how little they actually give back to us, gather our OWN self confidence, and leave them. Therefore, they will say or do anything, ANYTHING,  to make you change your mind and stay in the relationship. There are a number of signs controlling relationship, here are some phrases you may be hearing on a regular basis....
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Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up

The Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up… Silent Treatment: Silent Treatment: an act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence, especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval. ~Webster Silent Treatment is used as a passive aggressive form of communication, to convey contempt, disapproval, and displeasure. Narcissists often use this tactic when you confront them about something they have done wrong. This allows them to place the blame for the situation on you AND allows them to avoid taking any responsibility for their own hurtful or wrong actions, thereby invalidating...
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I’m a Hypocrite (and So Are You)

I am going to confess something, something I actually just realized, sadly. Something that struck me as I was bouncing around on Pinterest this morning and reflecting on recent arguments with the Narc. I am a hypocrite, and its destroying my life. The Number One thing I get mad at him for is his instance the I am responsible for how he feels, not only that, but that however he is feeling is 100% the truth (in his mind). That is crazy, right? Any modern psychologist will tell you that no, only children act like that. You ALONE are responsible...
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The Illusion of Choice with a Narcissist

Any presentation of choice in your relationship with an abuser is really an illusion. They will cajole, pout, or threaten to get their way. Or simply just never stop talking about it until you give up. In addition, if you stand your ground and DONT agree with whatever crazy idea they’re trying to get you to go along with, they act out. So, if you disagree with his suggestion, on anything, you’re punished for it, even if they appear to go along with your plan. They will pull out all the stops to make sure you know they didn’t want...
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I can’t even…

I ended a day that should have been a good one crying on the floor in my bathroom in despair. I know, I’m probably not the only one whose had a day like mine. A day where nothing much seemed to go wrong, but nothing was right either. And after a few too many glasses of wine and a totally eye opening video of what how fat you have really gotten, well, the effects of the life your living come crashing down and there is nothing left but your pain. I thought I was doing OK, really. Maybe drinking more...
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Narcissistic Hoovering: the Results

Narcissistic Hoovering I am not really sure what to title this, or even where to start. I guess narcissistic hoovering is really what happened, but it feels so much more genuine than what that communicates. Im sure many of you saw this coming, because this is what happens with toxic relationships, somehow they suck you back in… So ill just cut right to it. He hovered me back in a couple months ago by making a total transformation and making me think he was really genuinely changed. I KNOW. How could I fall for it? (Seriously, I knew better and...
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