Home » Archive by category "emotional abuse"

Going Grey Rock

Going Grey Rock So for the past few months I’ve been in survival mode, placating him and trying to repair/ rebuild my life behind the scenes. I’ve been trying to live like everything is fine and great and wonderful. Not making waves, not fighting back, going along with his plans. Not even thinking about using the Grey Rock method at all. But now I’m done with that. I’ve been reading more (I will get my reviews up this next week, I promise. I’ve read some awesome books you guys!) and I’m realizing how to get rid of a narcissist: be...
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Documenting Narcissistic Abuse

Documenting Narcissistic Abuse
Documenting Narcissistic Abuse One of the most important things you can do when preparing to leave an abusive relationship is documenting the abuse your going through. This is critical for a couple reasons:  #1, If you end up in court then you will have something to support your word against his. #2, After your gone you will have something solid to reference when the narc either tries to hoover you back in or continues to gaslight you.  (For the purposes of this article I will be using the pronoun him to refer to the abuser. Feel free to insert whatever...
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Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist

divorcing a narcissist
Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist “I don’t understand why you stay” “He is so horrible, you will be better off without him, just go!” “You should just leave him!” ~Divorcing a Narcissist I hear these things weekly, if not daily here on the blog. And I get it, I would say the same thing to me, or would have, before I lived it. Before I DID “just leave”. Before I understood why people go back to relationships like this. Make no mistake, its not for any overwhelming love or desire for him. It was for practical reasons...
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When Does Bible say Divorce Acceptable?

When Does Bible Say Divorce is Right? First off, I am not going to preach about does Bible say divorce is evil. I think God gave us divorce for a reason, if you are with a Narcissist, you have good in your soul and he/she is feeding off you. Also, while I don’t believe every word of the Bible is to be followed (because, bacon!) as far as living a good life full of love, there is a lot great information there. I do believe in God, I believe He loves me and you immeasurably, I also believe there is...
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45 Lies a Narcissist Tells to Control You…

SIGNS CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP
45 Lies a Narcissist Tells to Control You A narcissist by definition, needs you more than you need them. They feed off of our admiration, and baring that, simply our attention, good or bad. However, this is their number one fear, that we will realize how little they actually give back to us, gather our OWN self confidence, and leave them. Therefore, they will say or do anything, ANYTHING,  to make you change your mind and stay in the relationship. There are a number of signs controlling relationship, here are some phrases you may be hearing on a regular basis....
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Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up

The Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up… Silent Treatment: Silent Treatment: an act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence, especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval. ~Webster Silent Treatment is used as a passive aggressive form of communication, to convey contempt, disapproval, and displeasure. Narcissists often use this tactic when you confront them about something they have done wrong. This allows them to place the blame for the situation on you AND allows them to avoid taking any responsibility for their own hurtful or wrong actions, thereby invalidating...
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I’m a Hypocrite (and So Are You)

I am going to confess something, something I actually just realized, sadly. Something that struck me as I was bouncing around on Pinterest this morning and reflecting on recent arguments with the Narc. I am a hypocrite, and its destroying my life. The Number One thing I get mad at him for is his instance the I am responsible for how he feels, not only that, but that however he is feeling is 100% the truth (in his mind). That is crazy, right? Any modern psychologist will tell you that no, only children act like that. You ALONE are responsible...
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How Narcissists Destroy Your Perception of Reality

how narcissists damage your perception of reality
How Narcissists Destroy Your Perception of Reality I found this amazing video this morning and it totally opened my eyes to whats been going on with me lately. I mean, I totally see him Gaslighting me now, I doubt him instead of myself . I have made peace with the fact that sometimes I might be wrong, but I CHOOSE to believe myself over him. Period. However, the damage has been done to a certain extent. I still obsessively check my phone for fear he has texted me and I might have missed it. I lie to avoid confrontation, I...
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An Open Letter To My Abusive Husband…

Letter-To-My-Abuser
Things were bad right from the start, but I was too young and naive to see it. That’s why you picked me, isn’t it? I was so trusting, and innocent. I had no idea you were broken, no idea our relationship wasn’t normal. I believed you when you told me I was messing up, and I didn’t question you. You could control me, keep me at arms length, and enjoy all the effort I gave into making our “relationship” a success. And then, one day, I started to notice. Notice how controlling you are, how you turned everything I had...
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The Last Straw…

Sometimes I feel like an idiot. Not for the things I do wrong, according to him. But for not moving fast enough, for not realizing every day how bad it is to live with him. For not getting out years ago. And I know, its a process, if I had left years ago I would not have had any idea about what’s really wrong with him, and he probably would have wooed me back. I have a soft heart, I know it probably would have happened. So in that sense, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. Maybe its taken...
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