Home » Archive by category "financial abuse"

Same Sh*t, Different Day

So, he finally asked me about my taxes today, and was predictably pissed when I told him I claimed one of the kids. Gave me this whole long speech about what if “we” could have gotten more money by him filing and claiming both kids.   At the end of the argument, he stalked off in a huff and told me “I’m sure glad I’m a part of your life!”. This is a tactic. He does things on his own all the time and since I didn’t ask permission to claim one of the kids and he wont get as...
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Documenting Narcissistic Abuse

Documenting Narcissistic Abuse
Documenting Narcissistic Abuse One of the most important things you can do when preparing to leave an abusive relationship is documenting the abuse your going through. This is critical for a couple reasons:  #1, If you end up in court then you will have something to support your word against his. #2, After your gone you will have something solid to reference when the narc either tries to hoover you back in or continues to gaslight you.  (For the purposes of this article I will be using the pronoun him to refer to the abuser. Feel free to insert whatever...
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Narcissism and Trained Responses

Narcissism Trained Responses
Narcissism and Trained Responses I filed my taxes today. And Im freaking out because even though he informed me a couple weeks ago we would be filing separately, (didn’t ask or discuss, just told me thats what he was doing) I didn’t talk to him first and double check to make sure thats still the plan and that he really wanted to give up the extra tax credit we would get filing together. You know, like a normal married couple would. Im Nervous… And I’m realizing this is a trained response. He has conditioned me to worry about doing things...
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Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist

divorcing a narcissist
Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist “I don’t understand why you stay” “He is so horrible, you will be better off without him, just go!” “You should just leave him!” ~Divorcing a Narcissist I hear these things weekly, if not daily here on the blog. And I get it, I would say the same thing to me, or would have, before I lived it. Before I DID “just leave”. Before I understood why people go back to relationships like this. Make no mistake, its not for any overwhelming love or desire for him. It was for practical reasons...
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When Does Bible say Divorce Acceptable?

When Does Bible Say Divorce is Right? First off, I am not going to preach about does Bible say divorce is evil. I think God gave us divorce for a reason, if you are with a Narcissist, you have good in your soul and he/she is feeding off you. Also, while I don’t believe every word of the Bible is to be followed (because, bacon!) as far as living a good life full of love, there is a lot great information there. I do believe in God, I believe He loves me and you immeasurably, I also believe there is...
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The Last Straw…

Sometimes I feel like an idiot. Not for the things I do wrong, according to him. But for not moving fast enough, for not realizing every day how bad it is to live with him. For not getting out years ago. And I know, its a process, if I had left years ago I would not have had any idea about what’s really wrong with him, and he probably would have wooed me back. I have a soft heart, I know it probably would have happened. So in that sense, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. Maybe its taken...
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25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

  25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating There is probably a million indications that someone is cheating. Everyone and every situation is different. And honestly, when taken individually, single things may not be that big of a deal. I would say, when your spouse is cheating, your gut is your first clue. Something is off and its not just the big fight you just had about nothing, there is something else. In my experience, we have always been rather relaxed, I have never really kept tabs on him or really mistrusted him in any way. So imagine my shock when...
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Cheater, Cheater…

(Heads Up, I do get a little crude in this post. My apologies, nothing else expressed my feeling adequately.) Cheater, Cheater… The other shoe dropped. I found the proof I needed to know he is indeed cheating on me. Only instead of the affair I expected to find, hes been hooking up with random girls hes meeting at the bar with his buddies. Which is somehow, so much worse. I checked his text messages with this guy hes been hanging out with that I knew is actively picking up girls behind his live in girlfriends back, and sure enough, they...
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Narcissistic Entitlement

narcissism
So, hes been taking money and spending it on a personal trainer (to the tune of several hundred dollars a month) and telling me his trainer was training him for free since they’re such good buddies and all. (And texting me selfies of him flexing in the mirror, WTF?). The entire time, hes been putting all this pressure on me to try and make more money and do all this extra stuff so we can get ski passes, and telling me how we just don’t have any money, etc. And hes eating out at lunch, no $5 meal for him,...
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19 Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist

Married to a Narcissist ~ *(I am not a psychologist, I have experience with this situation and I am sharing from that and my own research. I have approached this from a females perspective, as that is what I am and what I have been dealing with in my husband). It’s been said that narcissism is one of the most difficult mental disorders to diagnose, for a few reasons; first, Narcissists tend to believe there is nothing wrong with them, so they do not admit to having problems and don’t seek help in the first place. Second, they are masters at...
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