Home » Archive by category "gaslighting"

Going Grey Rock

Going Grey Rock So for the past few months I’ve been in survival mode, placating him and trying to repair/ rebuild my life behind the scenes. I’ve been trying to live like everything is fine and great and wonderful. Not making waves, not fighting back, going along with his plans. Not even thinking about using the Grey Rock method at all. But now I’m done with that. I’ve been reading more (I will get my reviews up this next week, I promise. I’ve read some awesome books you guys!) and I’m realizing how to get rid of a narcissist: be...
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Narcissism and Trained Responses

Narcissism Trained Responses
Narcissism and Trained Responses I filed my taxes today. And Im freaking out because even though he informed me a couple weeks ago we would be filing separately, (didn’t ask or discuss, just told me thats what he was doing) I didn’t talk to him first and double check to make sure thats still the plan and that he really wanted to give up the extra tax credit we would get filing together. You know, like a normal married couple would. Im Nervous… And I’m realizing this is a trained response. He has conditioned me to worry about doing things...
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Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up

The Silent Treatment: How to Cope When Your Narcissist Finally Shuts Up… Silent Treatment: Silent Treatment: an act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence, especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval. ~Webster Silent Treatment is used as a passive aggressive form of communication, to convey contempt, disapproval, and displeasure. Narcissists often use this tactic when you confront them about something they have done wrong. This allows them to place the blame for the situation on you AND allows them to avoid taking any responsibility for their own hurtful or wrong actions, thereby invalidating...
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The Illusion of Choice with a Narcissist

Any presentation of choice in your relationship with an abuser is really an illusion. They will cajole, pout, or threaten to get their way. Or simply just never stop talking about it until you give up. In addition, if you stand your ground and DONT agree with whatever crazy idea they’re trying to get you to go along with, they act out. So, if you disagree with his suggestion, on anything, you’re punished for it, even if they appear to go along with your plan. They will pull out all the stops to make sure you know they didn’t want...
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How Narcissists Destroy Your Perception of Reality

how narcissists damage your perception of reality
How Narcissists Destroy Your Perception of Reality I found this amazing video this morning and it totally opened my eyes to whats been going on with me lately. I mean, I totally see him Gaslighting me now, I doubt him instead of myself . I have made peace with the fact that sometimes I might be wrong, but I CHOOSE to believe myself over him. Period. However, the damage has been done to a certain extent. I still obsessively check my phone for fear he has texted me and I might have missed it. I lie to avoid confrontation, I...
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25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

  25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating There is probably a million indications that someone is cheating. Everyone and every situation is different. And honestly, when taken individually, single things may not be that big of a deal. I would say, when your spouse is cheating, your gut is your first clue. Something is off and its not just the big fight you just had about nothing, there is something else. In my experience, we have always been rather relaxed, I have never really kept tabs on him or really mistrusted him in any way. So imagine my shock when...
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Your Lips are Movin’

TIRED! Even my dreams are telling me I’m repressing my feelings and rejecting someone in my life (gee, I wonder who?) ( check out dreammoods.com if you’re interested, it fascinating!). But you know what I’m the most tired of? The not being able to trust that what I see happening is whats really going on. I have to constantly remind myself that I really don’t know what is happening, if the information I’m relying on is coming from him. He could be telling me straight up bullshit, and I wouldn’t know. I want to spy on him just to validate...
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Tips for Surviving the Holidays with a Narcissist

Surviving the Holidays with a Narcissist
Surviving the Holidays with a Narcissist ~Made it! Christmas is over, and I don’t feel wrecked after the holiday. Sure, it was a little disappointing, as usual. In fact, I have been reflecting and reading others experiences today, and Christmas has gotten progressively more depressing ever since I got engaged. Oddly, I always blamed it on working retail and being insanely busy in December, or not having the money to really celebrate and do gifts like I would like to. But after this Christmas, I realize, that’s not what makes it sad for me. Its the simple fact that I...
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How to tell if YOU’RE the Problem in your Relationship

How to Tell If YOU’RE the Problem In Your Relationship Love Me at My Worst I read an excellent article today over at the Huffington Post. Excellent that is, if your in a normal relationship. If I Cant Accept You at Your Worst, Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible is awesome advice for people if you are married or partnered with a Narcissist, simply because that is really their attitude about everything. They believe they are entitled to your absolute devotion, no matter what they do to you. But the danger is then, the advice can easily be turned against...
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What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship

What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship
What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship Narcissist. Psychopath. Sociopath. Abuser.  What do these words make you think of? A monster? A killer, maybe. Does an image from the latest horror flick pop into your head as you imagine the worst evil walking the earth? Surely, not the local barista making your coffee, hes so nice! Not your boss, I mean, hes kinda a jerk, but hes not a monster. Your best friends husband? No way, they were so in love at their wedding! So obviously on cloud nine! And yeah, you don’t see her as...
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