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How to Get Over a Narcissist

I’ve done a lot of serious reflecting on how to get over a narcissist and the damage left behind the relationship this past week, someone made a comment that has stuck with me, about focusing my energy and attracting more negativity (or positivity) into my life. (Thank you, reader!) It has made me look at my actions and my thought pattens. As I’ve done that I have noticed the Universe has been guiding me this direction for a while now. Telling me to start living my life and not letting others live it for me. Not letting everyone else steer...
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Never Turn Your Back on a Narcissist

I have been living in a bubble. I think that was probably foolish of me, to let my gaurd down and just live for a while, but I think I had to. What is life if you spend it all living in fear of what could happen? And what’s the point of leaving a narcissist if you’re just going to keep living like he’s (or she) is still following you? Sadly though, its kind of the truth. Because he cant‘ just let me go live my life and be happy. If I’m happy without him than that means that it...
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Thoughts and Ramblings…

My Absence… I haven’t written in a long time, I am sorry! I actually haven’t been able to sit and ponder things enough to make any sense in a while, and Im not totally confidant that this will make sense either. But I have some things on my heart to share, so here it goes… Seems the longer I am removed from the Narcissist the more I see scars I didn’t know existed. I guess the main one I have noticed is that I am afraid. The Fear Oh, I know how that sounds, like I will jump out of...
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10 Things I’ve Learned After Divorcing a Narcissist

Where I Am Now- One Year Later Its been a year now, after divorcing a narcissist, and Its the strangest feeling ever. I’m sorry for being silent for so long, I just needed space to get through this last part without trying to explain it to anyone. Im doing really well, I have a great job, a great financial footing, a great direction and I’m in a happy, healthy relationship. I feel like I’ve left the pain behind me, and taken the lessons. Sometimes it feels like it happened to someone else, and I guess in a way it did....
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Righteous Anger

So, got my divorce decree today. It’s a weird feeling. Someone compared it to having a rotten tooth pulled, the pain is gone, but you still run your tongue over the empty place and feel the loss. I think that’s the perfect analogy. The thing that has surprised me though, is the rage. Mine. At odd moments, for no reason I can identify, I am soul-shakingly angry. And if you know me, I am NOT that person. I probably err on the side of being TOO nice actually (duh, married to a narc for ten years, WAY too nice). But...
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19 Things to Remember when Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse

19 Things to Remember when Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse I am almost three months into my divorce process and the time and space have done amazing things to heal my heart and soul. I will admit, things have been much easier for me than I expected. I got a great job right away, which is gradually ramping up my hours so I have time to adjust and get my finances in order before I get off government assistance. I have all the support I need from my family and Im living with my parents, which, while...
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17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression

17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression Pretty much every woman/man I have talked to with a narcissistic partner has some depression/depressed attitudes. (See the graphic below to evaluate some of the signs of depression in women and men). This is to be expected after a prolonged period of mental and emotional abuse. Your spirit kind of dies and sinks a little as you lose the hope of your relationship ever being healthy and you forget who you are. Its super important though, to recognize that this is temporary and you can get yourself back, even while you’re still WITH...
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Same Sh*t, Different Day

So, he finally asked me about my taxes today, and was predictably pissed when I told him I claimed one of the kids. Gave me this whole long speech about what if “we” could have gotten more money by him filing and claiming both kids.   At the end of the argument, he stalked off in a huff and told me “I’m sure glad I’m a part of your life!”. This is a tactic. He does things on his own all the time and since I didn’t ask permission to claim one of the kids and he wont get as...
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Going Grey Rock

Going Grey Rock So for the past few months I’ve been in survival mode, placating him and trying to repair/ rebuild my life behind the scenes. I’ve been trying to live like everything is fine and great and wonderful. Not making waves, not fighting back, going along with his plans. Not even thinking about using the Grey Rock method at all. But now I’m done with that. I’ve been reading more (I will get my reviews up this next week, I promise. I’ve read some awesome books you guys!) and I’m realizing how to get rid of a narcissist: be...
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Documenting Narcissistic Abuse

Documenting Narcissistic Abuse
Documenting Narcissistic Abuse One of the most important things you can do when preparing to leave an abusive relationship is documenting the abuse your going through. This is critical for a couple reasons:  #1, If you end up in court then you will have something to support your word against his. #2, After your gone you will have something solid to reference when the narc either tries to hoover you back in or continues to gaslight you.  (For the purposes of this article I will be using the pronoun him to refer to the abuser. Feel free to insert whatever...
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