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SplitShire_IMG_3387Seems like that’s the question every day. I’m figuring it out a bit at a time, I suppose, but here is what I have so far.

I am a woman, a fact of which constantly surprises me after being treated like a child for so long. I am a mother, which brings me my greatest joy and my greatest sorrow, as I wouldn’t have any joy without them, my two little lights, and I am heartbroken over the life I have found us in.

I’m a college student who is studying psychology, which is how I discovered my husband is beyond all hope and my marriage is doomed (or I am, depending on how long I stay).

I’m an artist, though that part of myself has been tucked away for fear he would kill it.

I’m a dreamer, a planner, a believer. I have been a good wife, my forgiveness runs deep. I believe in being kind to everyone, and expecting the same in return. I believe in never giving up, that I can do anything I set my mind to.

I am the perfect narcissistic supply. And now I believe he will never change, will never care about me, will never be the example of a good man I hoped for my children. Now, I am done.

Often, I battle depression, and my ADD drives me crazy. I’m pretty sure I have PTSD from his rages, though hes never hit me, his anger and words are horrible to deal with for a Highly Sensitive, Empath such as myself. But I am a strong person, and I am rebuilding myself, a bit at a time. I find I cannot accept the destruction so common for spouses divorcing a Narcissist, I will build myself a decent life and support system, financially and emotionally, before I cut the cord. Until then, this will tell my story of trying to hang on….

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One thought on “Me- Who am I?

  1. Maria Chaloux says:

    What a blessing that you discovered what he is and instinctively knew to protect the parts of you that you refuse to allow him to destroy. Great idea not to let him in on your artistic capabilities, but you still must express your creativity, so I’m glad you have this safe place. Plus it is so helpful to others, like myself :). Your psychology background makes you a highly insightful resource for others going through the hell that is NPD abuse.

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