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Narcissistic Entitlement

So, hes been taking money and spending it on a personal trainer (to the tune of several hundred dollars a month) and telling me his trainer was training him for free since they’re such good buddies and all. (And texting me selfies of him flexing in the mirror, WTF?). The entire time, hes been putting all this pressure on me to try and make more money and do all this extra stuff so we can get ski passes, and telling me how we just don’t have any money, etc. And hes eating out at lunch, no $5 meal for him, $16 meals at a sit down restaurant. But we don’t “have money” for dog food. I had to make the dogs rice and eggs for dinner last night. And today, hes getting another tattoo, because its his birthday and, gosh darn it, he deserves it. Its a freaking classic sign of narcissistic entitlement, and yet here I am, shocked.

I am so far beyond disgusted with him. He sits there and tells me I am not putting the family first, I am not contributing, etc. And come to find out, this stuff is going on. I mean, really? How long has he been doing this shit and I just didn’t know? How long did I blindly let him handle all our money and never look at the accounts, probably at least as long as that. I feel like an idiot, but then again, I should be able to trust my husband. Theoretically anyway. So everything hes accusing me of, hes doing himself. (And I also found his wedding ring in the center console of the truck. So, since hes accused me of cheating on him, I suppose I should assume that’s what hes doing. Or at the very least, trying to appear single/ available).

I’m just so done with him. I am making sure my income from my new job is going onto a debit card in my name only. That way at least I know the money I make is actually going to pay for things like my daughters school and dance, and groceries, gas for my car, etc. And also, that way he cant spend it all! I will say I’m not brilliant with money, but this is ridiculous. And for him to sit there and be mad at me, and tell ME that I’M the one whose caused us to not be able to get ski passes this year is BULLSHIT.

And its totally pointless to say anything to him. He will just defend his actions, not see anything wrong with it, and blame me for not making him enough money to do everything he wants to do. Never-mind the fact that if he hadn’t spent all the money continuously, I would still have my higher paying job at our own business. But whatever. I just have to shut up and put up, and pretend everything is fine. Oooo and Ahhh appropriately when he comes home with his new ink, act like I believe him when he tells me how little it cost. And spend the rest of the evening acting like I love him and don’t in actuality, hate his guts. Yeay…

Narcissistic Entitlement from Psychology Today


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10 thoughts on “Narcissistic Entitlement

  1. Teresa says:

    OMG!!! You are saying EXACTLY what I did a year before the relationship was over. And it drove him 100% INSANE that I wouldn’t share my bank statements with him or my online banking userid and password. It was also a part of his smear campaign after the split that I spent ALL OF HIS MONEY! And I was the one that paid all the bills and he BLEW his money on himself, his toys, his trucks, his his his. Hope your financial situation gets better now! Stay tough girl because he isn’t going to like this AT ALL.

    1. Traci says:

      I’m getting ready to leave. Well, actually just stuck, not knowing how to proceed. Do you have any advice?
      Everything I read says to tell them nothing of your plans. But what does that mean? Have him come home to an empty house and a note?
      Any advice you learned from your situation would really be appreciated. 🙂
      Thank you,

      1. Pe says:

        YES…let him come home to an empty house! Make sure you are ready for good and then go. If you don’t…he will reason away why you are crazy and this is all in your head. Gaslighting…they are masters.

  2. Traci says:

    Roar! A day in my life right there. Exactly what my husbands done to me. My fault we don’t have any money because I stayed home to take care of our infant son. But he can literally steal money from the bank account and my sons piggy bank while telling me he never pays for his weed in the last 5 years. Really? I’m supposed to believe this bs? I’m supposed to pretend like your weird reality is real? I want to stab my eyeballs out with a fork!! Bizzaro Word I’m living in. Can’t wait to get the F outta here!

    Thanks for sharing. Keep it up

  3. Melanie says:

    Revorce is a good resource for women to plan their divorces.

  4. scriber@live.ca says:

    Wow. It’s sad that I can relate to everyone here. Not only is my husband a narcissist and a drunk, I also have a narcissistic daughter (whom I love deeply, but is quite emotionally taxing). It’s caused me to spiral into a pit of depression from which I wish I could just drown. He costs more money than he contributes. Every paycheck is a struggle. I don’t know if I’m coming or going anymore. What’s worse, is that I suffer from bipolar disorder…. which I keep under control really well when my life is in order, but now he purposefully drives me insane, then uses my inability to cope with his bullshit as a smear campaign to “prove” to people that I’m as crazy as he says.

    1. Lupe says:

      I am living the exact hell as you…
      Even the narcissist daughter..
      Has anyone been able to leave? Im desperate

  5. Charla says:

    This causes me to cry !

    1. Lupe says:

      This is my life…
      I wish i were dead

      1. Jamie says:

        Please email me Lupe
        I hate what u said it breaks my heart, more like shatters my heart mostly because i can understand exactly why you feel that way, within reason anyway all our traumas are different at the same time there all identical.
        Its always helped me significantly when I had someone who doesn’t victim blame/shame & who listens without having all the “answers!!”
        I’d love to listen if u’ll let me, we don’t deserve any of the abuse for any reason but the last thing any of us deserves is to be completely isolated from anyone we love or care for esp when a person can help us make it thru even just one more day (worst case of course)
        Reach out it really helps, doesn’t solve anything but talking to someone who can relate because of personal experience can definitely make things a little less lonely & to my in my opinion its a huge thing not to feel so horrifically & profoundly alone

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