Domestic Violence Awareness Month…

I’m finding it particularly difficult to keep to myself this month. The temptation to just totally expose him for his behavior is really tempting. Every time I go on facebook, there’s a new post about abusive partners, womens rights, etc, etc, etc. I think its great, and it makes me super angry that he dosnt see himself in that behavior. Stupid I know. A narcissist will never admit that his behavior is out of line. I KNOW this, but it still makes me mad. One time I did make a post about how calling names is verbally abusive on my...
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Walking on Eggshells

Everything came very close to an end in these last couple days. To the point I began filling out divorce papers and had him look at child custody situations. Course, after all that, he realized I wasn’t going to fold, and he came and apologized (so that makes maybe 8 apologies in a 13 year relationship). Anyway, realizing my financial situation and where Im at with a car (one is in his name only and has a high payment, the other is in his sisters name, joys of the shitty credit we have), I am trying to just let it...
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Entitled…

So, yesterday He told me I am acting “entitled” and taking advantage of him, in the midst of another argument over how I’m not bringing in enough money, though I have made more money in the last two months than in the four months before, enough to get all caught up in fact. Regardless, he’s angry because even though I am still running our business from home and caring for our baby and running a million errands daily, in between baby naps, taking kid 1 to school and bringing home after, along with working until 11 or 12 every night to...
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Sometimes drowning…

Its strange to me how much more real this all is to me now. I have been wrestling with the idea hes a narc for about a year and a half. Sadly, my realization that he might actually be a narcissist came while I was pregnant with my second child. Talk about devastating. And I went back and forth in my mind for MONTHS before I realized the truth in such a way that it was undeniable anymore. I think I have only come to that understanding in these last few weeks, which is probably why I’ve moved on to...
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Me- Who am I?

Seems like that’s the question every day. I’m figuring it out a bit at a time, I suppose, but here is what I have so far. I am a woman, a fact of which constantly surprises me after being treated like a child for so long. I am a mother, which brings me my greatest joy and my greatest sorrow, as I wouldn’t have any joy without them, my two little lights, and I am heartbroken over the life I have found us in. I’m a college student who is studying psychology, which is how I discovered my husband is beyond...
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