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The Last Straw…

Sometimes I feel like an idiot. Not for the things I do wrong, according to him. But for not moving fast enough, for not realizing every day how bad it is to live with him. For not getting out years ago. And I know, its a process, if I had left years ago I would not have had any idea about what’s really wrong with him, and he probably would have wooed me back. I have a soft heart, I know it probably would have happened. So in that sense, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. Maybe its taken...
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How to tell if YOU’RE the Problem in your Relationship

How to Tell If YOU’RE the Problem In Your Relationship Love Me at My Worst I read an excellent article today over at the Huffington Post. Excellent that is, if your in a normal relationship. If I Cant Accept You at Your Worst, Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible is awesome advice for people if you are married or partnered with a Narcissist, simply because that is really their attitude about everything. They believe they are entitled to your absolute devotion, no matter what they do to you. But the danger is then, the advice can easily be turned against...
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What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship

What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship
What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship Narcissist. Psychopath. Sociopath. Abuser.  What do these words make you think of? A monster? A killer, maybe. Does an image from the latest horror flick pop into your head as you imagine the worst evil walking the earth? Surely, not the local barista making your coffee, hes so nice! Not your boss, I mean, hes kinda a jerk, but hes not a monster. Your best friends husband? No way, they were so in love at their wedding! So obviously on cloud nine! And yeah, you don’t see her as...
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Narcissistic Betrayal

Narcissistic Betrayal
Narcissistic Betrayal~ I have recently began to wonder at what point you define betrayal in your marriage. Of course, sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse is probably the major, inarguable one. But what about shaming your spouse in front of your friends. What about confiding all your marital troubles in a “friend” of the opposite sex? What about inappropriate friendships that maybe don’t cross the line to physical, but are inappropriately close? And what if your spouse (who is doing these things) is a narcissist? I would say, I definitely FEEL betrayed. I really thought I didn’t care if...
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How to Live with a Narcissist

howtolivewithanarcissist
How to Live with a Narcissist- Turns out, its not as easy as I thought. Also, once you stop dancing to the narcissists manipulations, they don’t necessarily give up, they just start whining about how you don’t love them anymore, and aren’t trying to make your relationship work. In addition, once you stop freaking out when the narcissist threatens to leave you, they start trying to make YOU leave, i.e. kick you out. I quote, “you just need to leave for a couple days and then you’ll realize that I love you”. Really?! Ugh, I don’t think so. He really thinks that once I...
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8 Self Care Tips

selfcaretips
One of the things I have noticed is as time has gone on and I have been subjected to the Narcissist, I have kind-of given up on myself. There was a time my nails were buffed, my hair stayed neatly cut and dyed, my legs were waxed or shaved. I don’t really take the time to take care of myself at all anymore, but I’m trying to start back up. These things are essential for us as women to feel like we matter! I do understand however, that suddenly getting all glammed up can be a problem for women in...
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Thats Why I Stayed

thatswhyistayed
In the Dark Its funny, I have been discovering more about narcissism and trying to really see my situation for over a year now, and I still seem to feel like I know hardly anything about what I’m up against and how much I am losing. And its not because I am leaving (though he doesn’t know that), its because of him, and his behavior. Spending 12 years thinking we were a team has left me totally vulnerable to his destruction of my life. My credit sucks because he cant manage money AT ALL, and blames me for it. Granted, his...
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Complex PTSD

ComplexPTSD
So, I stumbled across a fun little tidbit the other day, apparently, Complex PTSD actually changes the physical characteristics of your brain. I have been reeling a little from this, and also re-examining the way I view my relationship and the name I’m giving the abuse he is inflicting on me. I mean, technically, he is changing my physical being in a hateful way, so is that not then, physical abuse? The research did study soldiers, not the victims of abusive partners, and having never been in actual war zones, I cannot compare our experiences, though I would imagine their is much...
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Whats Really Normal, When Your Living With a Narcissist?

So, I really didn’t know what to post. Its been crappy these last few days, but nothing huge. And so I find myself wondering if I’m just so used to all this crap, that his abuse has become normal. After all, its not like he’s beating me. Just dragging my reputation through the mud and getting mad at me if I even hint he might be abusive. Example: I liked the post from Huffington post “He Never Hit Me“, and for some lovely reason Facebook decided to broadcast that particular like and he saw it. Of course he took it...
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“Ashes By Now”, Narcissistic Traits

The kids have been off school this last week and we decided to go to the mountains, even though we really couldn’t afford it and I should have been working. Whatever, it was nice to get away for awhile and we had a nice time with relatively few incidents. Seriously, it was nice, I read a book. Played games with kid one, kid 2 stood on her own for the first time. Seems like everything was peaceful, if not “fine” in the traditional sense of the word. Except for one thing, turns out, hes been talking shit about me and lying...
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