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17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression

17 Low Cost Ways to Fight Depression Pretty much every woman/man I have talked to with a narcissistic partner has some depression/depressed attitudes. (See the graphic below to evaluate some of the signs of depression in women and men). This is to be expected after a prolonged period of mental and emotional abuse. Your spirit kind of dies and sinks a little as you lose the hope of your relationship ever being healthy and you forget who you are. Its super important though, to recognize that this is temporary and you can get yourself back, even while you’re still WITH...
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Same Sh*t, Different Day

So, he finally asked me about my taxes today, and was predictably pissed when I told him I claimed one of the kids. Gave me this whole long speech about what if “we” could have gotten more money by him filing and claiming both kids.   At the end of the argument, he stalked off in a huff and told me “I’m sure glad I’m a part of your life!”. This is a tactic. He does things on his own all the time and since I didn’t ask permission to claim one of the kids and he wont get as...
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Documenting Narcissistic Abuse

Documenting Narcissistic Abuse
Documenting Narcissistic Abuse One of the most important things you can do when preparing to leave an abusive relationship is documenting the abuse your going through. This is critical for a couple reasons:  #1, If you end up in court then you will have something to support your word against his. #2, After your gone you will have something solid to reference when the narc either tries to hoover you back in or continues to gaslight you.  (For the purposes of this article I will be using the pronoun him to refer to the abuser. Feel free to insert whatever...
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Narcissism and Trained Responses

Narcissism Trained Responses
Narcissism and Trained Responses I filed my taxes today. And Im freaking out because even though he informed me a couple weeks ago we would be filing separately, (didn’t ask or discuss, just told me thats what he was doing) I didn’t talk to him first and double check to make sure thats still the plan and that he really wanted to give up the extra tax credit we would get filing together. You know, like a normal married couple would. Im Nervous… And I’m realizing this is a trained response. He has conditioned me to worry about doing things...
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Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist

divorcing a narcissist
Why its so Hard to Leave a Narcissist “I don’t understand why you stay” “He is so horrible, you will be better off without him, just go!” “You should just leave him!” ~Divorcing a Narcissist I hear these things weekly, if not daily here on the blog. And I get it, I would say the same thing to me, or would have, before I lived it. Before I DID “just leave”. Before I understood why people go back to relationships like this. Make no mistake, its not for any overwhelming love or desire for him. It was for practical reasons...
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When Does Bible say Divorce Acceptable?

When Does Bible Say Divorce is Right? First off, I am not going to preach about does Bible say divorce is evil. I think God gave us divorce for a reason, if you are with a Narcissist, you have good in your soul and he/she is feeding off you. Also, while I don’t believe every word of the Bible is to be followed (because, bacon!) as far as living a good life full of love, there is a lot great information there. I do believe in God, I believe He loves me and you immeasurably, I also believe there is...
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Finding Myself…

This is the only place in the entire world where I can actually be myself. And the horrible, painful irony, is I cant show my face or use my real name here. I can’t risk him finding out. HOW could I ever have thought this was normal?! To have everything that’s me taken away, to be denied even the smallest voice, to be ridiculed and put down and ignored until I don’t even know who I am anymore. Ask me what I do for fun, and I can’t tell you. I don’t have fun, I have moments of peace, that...
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An Open Letter To My Abusive Husband…

Letter-To-My-Abuser
Things were bad right from the start, but I was too young and naive to see it. That’s why you picked me, isn’t it? I was so trusting, and innocent. I had no idea you were broken, no idea our relationship wasn’t normal. I believed you when you told me I was messing up, and I didn’t question you. You could control me, keep me at arms length, and enjoy all the effort I gave into making our “relationship” a success. And then, one day, I started to notice. Notice how controlling you are, how you turned everything I had...
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The Last Straw…

Sometimes I feel like an idiot. Not for the things I do wrong, according to him. But for not moving fast enough, for not realizing every day how bad it is to live with him. For not getting out years ago. And I know, its a process, if I had left years ago I would not have had any idea about what’s really wrong with him, and he probably would have wooed me back. I have a soft heart, I know it probably would have happened. So in that sense, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. Maybe its taken...
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25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

  25 Signs Your Husband is Cheating There is probably a million indications that someone is cheating. Everyone and every situation is different. And honestly, when taken individually, single things may not be that big of a deal. I would say, when your spouse is cheating, your gut is your first clue. Something is off and its not just the big fight you just had about nothing, there is something else. In my experience, we have always been rather relaxed, I have never really kept tabs on him or really mistrusted him in any way. So imagine my shock when...
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