Home » Posts tagged "PTSD"

Same Sh*t, Different Day

So, he finally asked me about my taxes today, and was predictably pissed when I told him I claimed one of the kids. Gave me this whole long speech about what if “we” could have gotten more money by him filing and claiming both kids.   At the end of the argument, he stalked off in a huff and told me “I’m sure glad I’m a part of your life!”. This is a tactic. He does things on his own all the time and since I didn’t ask permission to claim one of the kids and he wont get as...
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What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship

What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship
What No One Tells You About Living in an Abusive Relationship Narcissist. Psychopath. Sociopath. Abuser.  What do these words make you think of? A monster? A killer, maybe. Does an image from the latest horror flick pop into your head as you imagine the worst evil walking the earth? Surely, not the local barista making your coffee, hes so nice! Not your boss, I mean, hes kinda a jerk, but hes not a monster. Your best friends husband? No way, they were so in love at their wedding! So obviously on cloud nine! And yeah, you don’t see her as...
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Complex PTSD

ComplexPTSD
So, I stumbled across a fun little tidbit the other day, apparently, Complex PTSD actually changes the physical characteristics of your brain. I have been reeling a little from this, and also re-examining the way I view my relationship and the name I’m giving the abuse he is inflicting on me. I mean, technically, he is changing my physical being in a hateful way, so is that not then, physical abuse? The research did study soldiers, not the victims of abusive partners, and having never been in actual war zones, I cannot compare our experiences, though I would imagine their is much...
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Walking on Eggshells

Everything came very close to an end in these last couple days. To the point I began filling out divorce papers and had him look at child custody situations. Course, after all that, he realized I wasn’t going to fold, and he came and apologized (so that makes maybe 8 apologies in a 13 year relationship). Anyway, realizing my financial situation and where Im at with a car (one is in his name only and has a high payment, the other is in his sisters name, joys of the shitty credit we have), I am trying to just let it...
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Sometimes drowning…

Its strange to me how much more real this all is to me now. I have been wrestling with the idea hes a narc for about a year and a half. Sadly, my realization that he might actually be a narcissist came while I was pregnant with my second child. Talk about devastating. And I went back and forth in my mind for MONTHS before I realized the truth in such a way that it was undeniable anymore. I think I have only come to that understanding in these last few weeks, which is probably why I’ve moved on to...
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Me- Who am I?

Seems like that’s the question every day. I’m figuring it out a bit at a time, I suppose, but here is what I have so far. I am a woman, a fact of which constantly surprises me after being treated like a child for so long. I am a mother, which brings me my greatest joy and my greatest sorrow, as I wouldn’t have any joy without them, my two little lights, and I am heartbroken over the life I have found us in. I’m a college student who is studying psychology, which is how I discovered my husband is beyond...
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