Home » Posts tagged "Depression" (Page 2)

Complex PTSD

ComplexPTSD
So, I stumbled across a fun little tidbit the other day, apparently, Complex PTSD actually changes the physical characteristics of your brain. I have been reeling a little from this, and also re-examining the way I view my relationship and the name I’m giving the abuse he is inflicting on me. I mean, technically, he is changing my physical being in a hateful way, so is that not then, physical abuse? The research did study soldiers, not the victims of abusive partners, and having never been in actual war zones, I cannot compare our experiences, though I would imagine their is much...
Continue reading »

“Ashes By Now”, Narcissistic Traits

The kids have been off school this last week and we decided to go to the mountains, even though we really couldn’t afford it and I should have been working. Whatever, it was nice to get away for awhile and we had a nice time with relatively few incidents. Seriously, it was nice, I read a book. Played games with kid one, kid 2 stood on her own for the first time. Seems like everything was peaceful, if not “fine” in the traditional sense of the word. Except for one thing, turns out, hes been talking shit about me and lying...
Continue reading »

You make me sick…

I don’t think I have been sick this often since my oldest daughter started preschool… I know it has to be the stress. Every day is a surprise, I never know what kind of night I’m going to have…. For instance, Monday, I was so sick, fever, chills, SO achy, and home all day with an active one year old. I still tried to make sure I got most of my phone calls made and did some research online for a new revenue opportunity, but just tried to rest and get better. And when jerkface got home, I still had dinner...
Continue reading »

Im NOT crazy…

I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore, and I finally really told someone what I’m dealing with. Luckily, she already kinda knew and has always seen my husband for who he really is (which is why they have never really gotten along). And now I feel SO much better. Just because I know its really, absolutely, 100% not all in my head, and someone KNOWS and supports me. That’s so huge. I feel more accountable now too. I cant let the depression take me over, I have to fight it and get myself to the point of being able to...
Continue reading »

Walking on Eggshells

Everything came very close to an end in these last couple days. To the point I began filling out divorce papers and had him look at child custody situations. Course, after all that, he realized I wasn’t going to fold, and he came and apologized (so that makes maybe 8 apologies in a 13 year relationship). Anyway, realizing my financial situation and where Im at with a car (one is in his name only and has a high payment, the other is in his sisters name, joys of the shitty credit we have), I am trying to just let it...
Continue reading »

Sometimes drowning…

Its strange to me how much more real this all is to me now. I have been wrestling with the idea hes a narc for about a year and a half. Sadly, my realization that he might actually be a narcissist came while I was pregnant with my second child. Talk about devastating. And I went back and forth in my mind for MONTHS before I realized the truth in such a way that it was undeniable anymore. I think I have only come to that understanding in these last few weeks, which is probably why I’ve moved on to...
Continue reading »

Archives